I've been thinking about writing this blog for awhile now because I have been teaching summer school, and the stories are never-ending. But also because one of my BFFs is currently
***Disclaimer: I'm a little bit one-sided here because my friend is looking for men, so we only look at men's profiles. I'm sure there are profiles out there of women who have interesting ways of presenting themselves to potential partners. But we're sticking with the boys here, folks.
1. First impressions are a big deal
Just like you shouldn't show up on the first day of school wearing a hyper-color t-shirt and lace-cuffed socks over your hot pink stretch pants, you shouldn't post a profile picture of yourself wearing a red hat that is shaped like a fish in order to attract a mate. That's not a joke. There is actually a man out there, looking for a partner, who presents himself by wearing a red fish hat. Please stop it.
2. Getting-to-know-you convos can be a little awkward - and sometimes a little untrue surprising
When you introduce yourself to your teacher, you usually say your name, and there is typically some sort of activity that helps you get to know her (and helps her get to know you). Kids say things like, "I always do all my homework," or "Do I HAVE to write a WHOLE paragraph???" On this particular online dating website (and on actual first dates), men have been known to say things like, "I'm 38, work part time and still live with my parents, but I'm one helluva Minecraft player," and "I've got $800,000 sitting in an account in Europe." Um...again, stop it.
3. Your effort says a lot about you
Sometimes, kids bring homework to turn in that is clearly done by their parents. No 4th grader uses the word "saturate" or "misconception" in a paragraph about their three favorite things about summer.
Not one.
Or if the reasoning for your answer is, "because this is the answer," it just feels a little bit like you don't care - or in the first case, like your parents might care a little too much - which is bad in dating too. I have seen messages from guys to my friend that imply that they would just like to meet her for one date (night...) and that's it. C'mon dude. Class it up a bit, would you? Or the guy that starts texting you shirtless bathroom selfies in the first text convo... No. If you want a potential mate to know that you care, you have to put some work in. Love, friendship, being a student... they all require ACTION behind the words. You can't just text your man parts to someone and expect them to believe that you're trying really hard.
4. Benchmarks
If you're a teacher, you know this word very well. For those of you non-teachers out there, benchmark is a word we use as a measurement for where a student is. If they have "hit benchmark," it means they've made their goal for that period of time. As the school year goes along, we have certain check points that we use to assess where our students are academically and socially. Benchmark scores help us to know where the kid SHOULD be, versus where they actually are. Online dating is the same way. You assess as you go, and if a guy shows up on a first date with fuzzy handcuffs, your assessment should be that you're catching the next cab out of there. Reading someone's dating profile is just like having students take a pre-test. You find out some preliminary information and decide where to go from there.
If only it were that easy.
5. Teaching and Online Dating are more effective when you have a team
I would have been LOST without my team this year at school. And the year before that, and the year before that. If I had no one to celebrate with, laugh with, cry with or drink wine with, I'd be in trouble. It is absolutely essential to have people around you who support you and understand a little bit about what you're going through. Every single one of my friends (and myself) who have online dated, have at one point or another, sent a text or shown a picture to their girlfriends asking, "WTH?!?!?!?" or "Look how cute he is! But he has 17 cats..." Life is always better when you can laugh at crazy people with your friends.
Well, there ya have it folks. Bet you never thought these two things could be compared. I feel like I've done enough research, however, to be considered an expert in the subject matter. You're welcome.
xoxo
